The Poop on Scooping

---

Now, more than ever, dog owners are under scrutiny. This is largely due to a few irresponsible folks who have unleashed their biting canines on society, causing injury and, in some cases, even death.  

A minor crime by comparison, but offensive nonetheless, is an owner not picking up their pooch’s poop. If your foot has ever come in contact with a fresh pile of excrement while innocently mowing the lawn or getting in or out of your car at the curb (especially when it’s dark), you’ll know what I mean by “disgusting.” One day, I even knelt in doggy droppings while weeding along the alleyway. Needless to say, I now look first before genuflecting. 

Once a miscreant who left it lay, I skulked through alleyways, lingering behind shrubs, trying not to get caught. But it only took one step into the turgid matter to realize the importance of picking up!  

A practical person who hates to throw anything away, I have a ready supply of plastic bags to handle my dog’s daily constitution. The ones that work best are pliable yet sturdy, and long enough to cover the forearm. Bread bags work nicely, as do newspaper sleeves – the Sunday edition is good for those heftier piles. Armed with an arsenal of plastic, I am well-equipped for any size job. 

For those of you who avoid the task, finding it too messy or cumbersome, I’d like to share my quick and easy technique for poop removal. It takes only a few seconds, and is sure to benefit the entire neighborhood. Oddly enough, even with poop in tow, you’ll walk away feeling lighter. 

When a dog dumps their load, naturally the first thing they want to do is get away from it as quickly as possible. That’s when you stand your ground, hold onto the leash firmly, and retrieve your bag. 

Place your hand into the bag with fingers extended. Advance toward the offending pile (for illustration purposes a tennis ball was used in the accompanying photos) and cradle it gently – squeeze too hard and you’ll likely create a bigger mess. 

For larger loads you may need to “roll” the pile into the bag as you collect the remainder. 

The next step is to invert the bag over your hand, while still holding onto the refuse (and your dog). With the opposite hand, draw the bag down over your arm, while rolling up your package in one fell swoop. 

It’s always good to take along what I call a “carry bag,” which is a larger bag that will hold your quarry until you can make it to the nearest public waste receptacle or your own garbage can. Disposal of dog droppings into storm drains is illegal. 

Once the load is dropped, be on your merry way, secure in knowing that you have just performed a civic-minded act of kindness! Your neighbors will thank you, lawn mowers with thank you – and my knees will thank you. 

If you feed your dog an inconsistent diet, such as table scraps or junk food, don’t expect any consistency on the other end. Dog droppings are easier to pick up when your dog has a regular intake of appropriate food. If you have any doubts about this, just ask your veterinarian – or you’ll see for yourself after you’ve given Fido too many Cheetos.

---

(A) It shall be unlawful for any owner or person in charge of a dog, cat, ferret, or other four-footed mammal, poultry or other fowl to permit such animal to be on school grounds, metro parks or other public property, or on any private property other than that of the owner or person in charge or control of such animal without the permission of the owner of said property, or on any streets, sidewalks, highways, or rights-of-way of the Metro Government other than duly designated bridle paths, unless the owner or person in charge of such animals:

(1) Has, in his or her possession, a suitable device for the picking up, collection and proper sanitary disposal of the animal feces or manure.

(2) Immediately removes all feces deposited by such animal(s) and disposes of same in a sanitary manner.

(B) This section shall not apply to blind or visually impaired and/or disabled persons accompanied by an assistance dog.